The blog formerly known as The Dobbs Method

Prepare for Zombie Invasion

Posted in Film by Taylor Dobbs on 06/21/2009

I know they’re fictional, but you should get ready for the zombies to come anyways. This isn’t a psychotic, creepy thing, but a lesson in practicality. I’ve been watching zombie movies for the last two days and I’ve noticed that the humans in them always come very prepared. Granted, I would probably be well-prepared too if I lived in a world in which 90% of the former population was now a brain-eating, bloody, mess. As I watched, though, it made me think – most of the equipment these people carry is very useful stuff.

My suggestion for you, and I’m not kidding, is that you prepare for the zombies to come. I’m not saying board your windows and re-collect your Y2K food stash, but get your basic supplies and skills. Here’s five things I’ve noticed while watching zombie movies that I think should be carried into real life.

  1. Flashlight – Most households have a decent flashlight, so you’re probably already set on this front, but if not, go out to the hardware store and buy yourself a good flashlight. The zombie hunters use them to look for supplies and carry them all bas-ass -like under their guns. You may never get to do anything that badass, but if the power goes out, it’s always nice to be able to find the john without stubbing your toe.
  2. Knife – Even if you don’t live in the Bronx or East L.A. a knife is a good thing to own. Not to use on living things, but for those annoying situations that I’m sure you’ve been in where you say “If I only had a pocket knife.” It doesn’t take a genius to solve these problems, but somehow I still haven’t bought myself a pocket knife. Don’t go out and buy yourself something to rival Crocidile Dundee, but owning a good knife is always a good investment. You can open those annoying packages that everything comes in that usually take a small nuclear explosion to open, or you can cut off the slack when you tie your christmas tree to the top of the car.
  3. Lighter – Because batteries die, and flashlights aren’t hot. In the days before flashlights, lighter would have been number one on this list, but for the most part, flashlights have the light thing covered. But in case your batteries die or you find yourself wanting to light some candles, a lighter is definitely a good backup plan. Even when the power is on, few things feel as badass as pulling out a super-fly zippo when that random guy in the street asks you for a light. He’s usually not asking for a flashlight.
  4. Good Outdoor Gear – I’m not talking about that raincoat from American Eagle, I’m talking good, hardy, outdoor gear. Boots, heavy pants, and a good jacket, at the very least. You can’t always count on having a hotel when you’re not at home, so a tent, sleeping bag, and camping stove wouldn’t be a bad thing to add to the list either. Remember: Zombies are attracted to denser populations first.
  5. Gadgets – There is safety in numbers when the zombies come, but yelling for people isn’t always an attractive option, so having a cell phone as well as some Wi-Fi equipped device is a good idea. Also: electronics are only as good as their power source. It doesn’t hurt to have an extra battery handy for your stuff. How many horror movie deaths could have been solved simply by carrying an extra cell phone battery?

So obviously, until further notice, zombies don’t exist. That doesn’t mean you should disregard this list though. Those are all great items to have, and you won’t regret your purchase.

Plus, you never know.

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One Response

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  1. kate said, on 07/11/2009 at 1:23 pm

    holy shit. that article at the end. holy shit.

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